This has been a very strange week. We had a very important audit this week at work and I was having a bad day and made one of the cardinal mistakes of auditing...I argued with the auditor. You know how they say in retail that the customer is always right, well in auditing the auditor is always right, even when they are ABSOLUTELY wrong. He was a brand new auditor for our program and the first time he met me for my interview he starts with "so you must not do very much," which needless to say I took as an insult. I take a great deal of pride in my work and to have a person that doesn't even know me question my work product was more than I could handle.
Obviously in a normal life situation, I would have been angry about it but been able to keep it to my self. But one important thing I have learned through all of this hurricane recovery effort is that I am like a raw nerve. I seem to live at the extremes of emotions, and feel like I have very little control of my emotions or reactions to situations. This was a perfect example of it.
So needless to say I spent the rest of the day upset with myself, worried that I would harm the outcome of the audit, and made at the way I was reacting to it. Luckily I was able to meeting with the auditor again the next morning in a much less emotionally charged environment and clear up some of the issues. The best news is that we passed the audit, so in the big picture it was not a big deal, but I am still bothered by it a little.
I just keep telling myself that once I get to move home and live with only my husband that I will settle down and be back to normal, a more emotionally even person. Here's hoping. My husband has been incredibly understanding and helpful, but I just feel bad that he has to keep picking up the pieces, especially this is all just as hard on him.